1. You see yourself as doing it right while everyone else is doing it wrong.
  2. You are always irritated at other people's shortcomings. You say, "Yes, but..."
  3. You blame. You rarely step into other people's shoes to see their side of things.

Strong people don't put others down, they lift them up. Running away from the problem only creates distance from the solution.

"Whenever you take on an adversarial mindset toward something, you give it power."
Christiane Northrup

You can't correct your mistakes by pointing out the mistakes of others.
  1. "I know I am right and you are wrong."
  2. "It is your/their fault these mistakes happened."
  3. "The other team dropped the ball."
  4. "I have to work with these imbeciles."
  5. "If you weren't so stupid, you would understand this."
You are angry at the world and looking to blame.


  1. You make people feel pressured, attacked, intimidated, and just plain wrong and then blame them for feeling that way.
  2. You focus on what is wrong.
  3. You point the finger and are very critical, looking for who is at fault.
  4. You acknowledge what is wrong but don't acknowledge anything positive.
  5. You put yourself in a one-up position.
  6. You come off as condescending, with an inflated self-image, and are often seen as arrogant.
  7. Your one-up position supports your anger about how inferior the world is around you.
  8. You are always looking outside of yourself for fault because you see yourself as faultless.
  9. You express their hostility directly or often through sarcasm.
  10. You will take a defensive posture when criticized or asked to take responsibility.


  1. Realize that your attitude is creating the biggest part of the problem. Admit that you are not open-minded.
  2. Step into other's shoes and feel how your negativity impacts them.
  3. Let other people be right. Argue their position rather than against them.
  4. It is not up to others to step up; it is up to you to create a safe space.
  5. Coach others instead of criticizing them.
  6. Accept that you are choosing being right over choosing what is true.
  7. Think of the positives and mention them.
  8. Identify what you are afraid might happen. Identify where you feel helpless.
  9. What do you want for yourself? for others?
  10. Where do you blame others rather than taking responsibility?
  11. Make fun of yourself.
  12. Notice where you use sarcasm rather than offering a constructive comment.
  13. Acknowledge people twice as much as you criticize them.




© 2016 Jim Peal