1. attempts to gain power by assuming a superior position and insisting that others agree to maintain your self-righteousness
  2. looking for and finding fault; a way of making oneself feel better by hurting others
  3. is a proactive defence from the fear of being inadequate

Teenager Post#5688
Welcome to our society. You'll be judged on what you wear, what you look like, and how you act. Enjoy your stay!

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.

"Be curious. Not judgemental."
Walt Whitman

Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people will always do that. But the really great make you believe that you too can become great.

Before you judge me, make sure you're perfect.

My therapist thinks I'm too judgemental. But that is because he is an idiot.
  1. "That was stupid."
  2. "I will never amount to much."
  3. "I can never get it right."
  4. "You don't have what it takes."
  5. "You are so ignorant I can't believe it."
You feel justified in your negative impressions of others. You place yourself in a one-up or one-down position.


  1. You think your perception is the truth about the situation, but really you have a monumental blind spot. You are not seeing the person or situation as it is but only your perception of it.
  2. You have a blanket condemnation of the other person or situation that creates negativity for you and the other.
  3. You have the illusion of feeling good about yourself but it is at the cost of making other people wrong.
  4. You as the judger are the recipient of the judgement - you are eroding your own confidence and self-worth.
  5. You are trying to stay safe from having to experience any intrusion into your weak self concept
  6. You keep the illusion of control by putting things in boxes with labels.
  7. You are unwilling to accept or tolerate any perceived imperfection.


  1. Notice what happens if you accept the person or situation as it is.
  2. Step into the shoes of the other. What might be their experience? How are they trying to win? What do they need to be successful? How could you support their success?
  3. Notice you are judging yourself in the same way you are judging the other person or situation. What is it about yourself that is deserving or not about that judgement?
    • When did you begin having this attitude toward yourself?
    • Where did you learn how to judge yourself in this way?
  4. Love yourself and stop being so harsh. Reclaim your initial state of innocence, openness and purity - sounds stupid, I know, but try it! Try something NEW - I dare you.




© 2016 Jim Peal