RECOGNIZE YOUR THOUGHTS, FEELINGS & ENERGY
You feel good that you are needed in this situation. You carefully keep your real thoughts about others to yourself.
- "If I weren't here this place would fall apart."
- "He really needs my help."
- "Sure is a good thing I arrived when I did."
- "They sure are trying soooo hard."
- "They just don't seem to understand how to get this done."
REALIZE WHAT IS DRIVING YOUR MINDSET
- You see the world as a place that needs your salvation.
- You want to appear like you just want to "help," but underneath your seeming kindness is an active subtext that says, "I am helping you because you don't have what it takes and I do."
- You minimize the other person's power, effectiveness, skills and talents.
- You are on the hunt for what is missing, but only if what is missing is what you have to offer.
- You hold a judgement of others as being inadequate and incapable.
- Unlike the Adversary, who will sit on the sidelines and criticize, you will not hesitate to jump right onto the playing field, take over, and take all the credit.
- You elevate yourself in the presence of the Victim and validate the Victim's thought that they are helpless and the situation is hopeless but you will save the day.
- You look like a team player but you are there to hijack the credit.
- You will give you a false sense of hope but really you disempower people.
RESOLVE TO MOVE FORWARD
- Create situations where you teach rather than take over.
- If you take on a task for someone, set up a time to teach the person how to do the task.
- When a person repeats the same old story again, stop them and ask, "What do you want in this situation? What are you going to do to move in that direction?"
- When you help someone out, let go of any expectation to be acknowledged for helping.
- Stop from automatically volunteering your time. Ask yourself if you really have the time or energy to freely take on the task.
- Understand that letting people struggle with a problem can be a great learning opportunity for them.
- Realize that selfless service is different from rescuing - the true spirit of giving is without expectation for return.